Everyday Is Halloween Except Instead Of Pumpkins All I See Is Regret

From our modern Akashic Record:

L’esprit de l’escalier (or l’esprit d’escalier), usually translated as “staircase wit”, is the act of thinking of a clever comeback when it is too late to deliver it. The phrase can be used to describe a riposte to an insult or any witty remark that comes to mind too late to be useful, after one has left the scene of the encounter. The phenomenon is usually accompanied by a feeling of regret at not having thought of the retort when it was most needed or suitable.

Real ghosts (by which I mean, fake ghosts, since there’s no such thing as real ghosts) aren’t really so much of a problem. But the Spirit of the Staircase just knows how to grab your id and throttle it, like that tree swallowing that kid in Poltergeist or that thing under the bed that grabs your ankle and reads your diary when you’re out. The Staircase Ghost knows who you are and he is not here to play games and he will haunt you until your heart fucking explodes.

My present theory is that the meaning of life is to live each moment as though I were already on the Staircase. So of course, I started a blog.

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